Ron White: I didn't get where I am today by worryin' about how I'd feel tomorrow.
George Carlin: I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
George Carlin: Swimming isn't a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning!
Bill Cosby: There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.
Mitch Hedberg: I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.
Steven Wright: What's another word for Thesaurus?
Groucho Marx: I intend to live forever, or die trying.
Buck
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