Monday, March 15, 2010

A day for one-liners

Ron White: I didn't get where I am today by worryin' about how I'd feel tomorrow.

George Carlin: I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

George Carlin: Swimming isn't a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning!

Bill Cosby: There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.

Mitch Hedberg: I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.

Steven Wright: What's another word for Thesaurus?

Groucho Marx: I intend to live forever, or die trying.

Buck

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